people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
