it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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