Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Sober January is a disaster.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
