just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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