I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
