dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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