i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
