i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
