Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
