there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
