I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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