My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
