the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize