I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
