doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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