Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize