Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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