I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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