He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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