do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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