i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
