That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
