I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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