nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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