She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
