Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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