he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
