I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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