I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
