I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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