Kiss
Puke
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
