i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
