He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
