Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
