you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
