If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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