I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
