The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize