this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I need to stop coming to work sober
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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