Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
