she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
