Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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