Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
