there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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