Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
