Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
