I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
