he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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