she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
