I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
