Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
