dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
