who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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