im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
