why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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