I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize