i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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