I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
