How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
operation harelip BJ is a go
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
