I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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